


Achieving the True Ending

by IWP_chan



Series: [Chugs Water Bottle] [13]
Category: Persona 5
Genre: Crack, Gen, Multi, and Akira plays it: The Chatfic, in which P5 is a dating sim called Thieves of Hearts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-26
Updated: 2018-03-26
Packaged: 2019-04-08 13:28:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,324
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14106411
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IWP_chan/pseuds/IWP_chan
Summary: Thieves of Hearts is a dating sim game that grew popular. Akira just got his hands on a copy. Cue him crying about it to his lil’ gremlin of a cousin. Chatfic.





	Achieving the True Ending

Summary: Thieves of Hearts is a dating sim game that grew popular. Akira just got his hands on a copy. Cue him crying about it to his lil’ gremlin of a cousin. Chatfic.

_Note: the idea just came to me in a haze of wild inspiration. Enjoy. *plops fic into your lap and strolls away*_

**Warnings: How Do I Tag Warnings?, P5 As A Dating Sim And Akira Plays It, Futaba-Akira As Cousins, Akira Wants To Date Everyone, Games And Their Multiple Endings.**

**Disclaimer:** Don’t own P5.

.

 **Akira:** I fully blame you for this

 **Futaba:** Bring on the blame

 **Futaba:** It’s my life force

 **Akira:** who are the horrible, horrible people who made this game?

 **Akira:** there are TOO MANY PRETTY PEOPLE IN HERE

 **Akira:** HOW am I supposed to pick ONE TO DATE?

 **Futaba:** multiple playthroughs, noob

 **Akira:** STILL

 **Akira:** any recommendations?

 **Futaba:** I thought you didn’t want any spoilers?

 **Akira:** no spoilers

 **Akira:** but who do you think would be a good choice for a first playthrough?

 **Futaba:** oho?

 **Futaba:** you want to ask me who I think would be a good choice to take your virginity?

 **Akira:** FUTABA

 **Akira:** the protag’s virginity

 **Akira:** the PROTAG’S

 **Futaba:** eh well

 **Futaba:** there really is no special preference

 **Futaba:** but a fair warning

 **Futaba:** you should steer clear of pancake boy

 **Akira:** pancake boy?

 **Futaba:** you’ll find out later farther down the road

 **Akira:** okay

 **Akira:** alright

.

 **Akira:** I’m a thief

 **Akira:** the leader of a group of thieves

 **Akira:** phantom thieves

 **Akira:** IS THERE A RIVAL I COULD SEDUCE?

 **Futaba:** didn’t you say you wanted to romance nishima?

 **Akira:** it’s MISHIMA

 **Futaba:** whatever

 **Futaba:** anyway, you changed your mind?

 **Akira:** NO

 **Akira:** this game is too horrible for him!

 **Akira:** he needs love!

 **Akira:** if no one is going to love him

 **Akira:** then I WILL

 **Futaba:** sure

 **Futaba:** whatever floats your boat

.

 **Akira:** this game isn’t good for my heart

 **Akira:** I’m surrounded by too many pretty, romanceable people

 **Akira:** and I want to romance them ALL

 **Akira:** I can’t wait until I start my second playthrough

 **Futaba:** and then you’ll have to pick again

.

 **Akira:** I think I understand what you meant by steering clear of pancake boy

 **Futaba:** oh? You’re there already?

 **Akira:** he’s so gay for the protag

 **Akira:** so gay I can see him puking rainbows

 **Akira:** also he’s a DETECTIVE

 **Akira:** MY RIVAL

 **Akira:** RIVAL ME HARDER PLEASE

 **Futaba:** I thought you were in a committed relationship with nishima

 **Akira** : MISHIMA

 **Akira:** and I am!

 **Akira:** I’m simply appreciating the other characters

 **Akira:** like my rival

 **Akira:** and my pure soft Ryuji

 **Akira:** and my literal ray of sunshine Ann

 **Akira:** and my too attractive for this world artist buddy Yusuke

 **Akira:** (I need to FEED THIS GUY I SWEAR)

 **Akira:** and my awkward queen Makoto

 **Akira:** and Chihaya, the fortune teller with the MOST ADORABLE FROWN TO EVER GRACE THIS EARTH

 **Akira:** you think I can romance the owner of the airsoft shop?

 **Futaba:** I thought you didn’t want spoilers?

 **Akira:** I DON’T

 **Akira:** I’ll stop asking!

 **Akira:** I’ll keep on playing and keep you posted

.

 **Akira:** YUUKI IS A FOURTH WALL AWARE YANDERE?

 **Akira:** FUTABA

 **Akira:** FUTABA

 **Akira:** F

 **Akira:** U

 **Akira:** T

 **Akira:** A

 **Akira:** B

 **Akira:** A

 **Akira:** !

 **Akira:** FUTABA PLEASE

 **Futaba:** yeah alright

 **Futaba:** I heard you the first 100 times

 **Futaba:** cool it

 **Futaba:** yeah nishima is a fourth wall aware yandere

 **Akira:** it’s MISHIMA

 **Futaba:** oh come ON

 **Akira:** I WON’T STOP

.

 **Akira:** oh come on

 **Akira:** I can’t believe I got the bad ending?

 **Akira:** I need to go cry

 **Akira:** Yuuki my love why did you have to go and kill pancake boy?

 **Futaba:** you know in nishima’s route

 **Akira:** MISHIMA

 **Futaba:** you have to be careful of who you spend your time with

 **Futaba:** you spend a lot of time with pancake boy and boom

 **Futaba:** pancake boy gets killed

 **Futaba:** you spend a lot of time with inari and boom

 **Futaba:** inari gets killed

 **Futaba:** so

 **Futaba:** second playthrough?

 **Akira:** maybe…

 **Akira:** maybe not yet…

 **Akira:** it’s STILL TOO SOON

 **Akira:** my heart can’t take it now

 **Futaba:** suit yourself

.

 **Akira:** I’m back and I’m READY

 **Akira:** MY HEART IS READY

 **Akira:** MY SOUL IS READY

 **Akira:** MY BODY IS READY

 **Akira:** I’m going to romance Ryuji this time

.

 **Akira:** oh god why is he so pure

 **Akira:** he’s so soft

 **Akira:** so much sunshine

 **Akira:** I have

 **Akira:** so much love to give him

 **Akira:** but god the dialogue options are terrifying

 **Akira:** I can’t distinguish the romance options from between them

.

 **Akira:** I got the good ending for him?

 **Akira:** I accidentally FRIENDZONED HIM?

 **Akira:** WHAT

 **Akira:** HOW

 **Akira:** WHY

 **Akira:** okay that’s it

 **Akira:** I’m spite-playing another playthrough

 **Futaba:** mwehehehehehe

 **Futaba:** what’s your pick this time?

 **Akira:** Makoto

 **Futaba:** wow

 **Futaba:** color me surprised

 **Fuatba:** I thought you’d pick Inari

 **Futaba:** you’ve been mooning over him since you started playing.

 **Akira:** next playthough

.

 **Akira:** PANCAKE BOY

 **Akira:** PANCAKE BOY WHY

 **Akira:** PANCAKE BOY WHAT HAVE I DONE TO YOU

 **Futaba:** oooh you’re at the part where you get shot by Akechi?

 **Akira:** YES

 **Akira:** AND I DON’T UNDERSTAND

 **Akira:** I THOUGHT HE WAS IN LOVE WITH ME?

 **Akira:** wait

 **Akira:** WAIT

 **Akira:** I’m… alive?

 **Akira:** it was a trick?

 **Akira:** holy shit

 **Akira:** FUTABA

 **Akira:** FUTABA

 **Akira:** this game…

 **Akira:** this game ACTUALLY HAS A PLOT BEYOND THE DATING?

 **Futaba:** yep

 **Akira:** FUCK YOU MEAN TO TELL ME THAT THE ENDINGS OF THE ROMANCE ROUTES WEREN’T THE ACTUAL ENDINGS OF THE GAME?

 **Futaba:** :3

 **Akira:** FUCK

.

 **Akira:** PANCAKE BOY STRIKES AGAIN

 **Akira:** AND HE PIERECES RIGHT THROUGH MY HEART

 **Akira:** I can’t believe he just SACRIFIED HIS LIFE FOR ME

 **Akira:** man…

 **Akira:** I’m sorry Goro-chan

 **Akira:** I’m so so sorry I doubted the sincerity of your feelings towards me

 **Akira:** and I swear

 **Akira:** I’m going to romance you next!

 **Futaba:** what about inari?

 **Akira:** I’m pretty sure my Too Beautiful For This World BF can wait for me for a playthrough or twenty

 **Akira:** (I love you too Yusuke!)

.

 **Akira:** Futaba

 **Akira:** Futaba

 **Akira:** Futaba you little gremlin

 **Akira:** Futaba you little devious trickster

 **Akira:** WHY did you tell me to steer clear of Goro-chan?

 **Akira:** BECAUSE THE ENDING

 **Akira:** THE ENDING FUTABA

 **Akira:** YALDABAOTH. SATANAEL. SAVING CHRISTMAS WITH THE POWER OF FRIENDSHIP.

 **Akira:** SATANAEL FUTABA

 **Akira:** SATANAEL

 **Futaba:** you’re still playing pancake boy’s route?

 **Akira:** no I just finished his TRUE ENDING. ON WHITE DAY.

 **Futaba:** so the game is still going?

 **Akira:** I’m at the credits

 **Akira:** why does the protag have to return?

 **Akira:** why can’t he stay in Tokyo with his family and BF?

 **Futaba:** wait for it

 **Akira:** wait for what?

 **Akira:** Futaakjsdhkasgdas

 **Akira:** OH SHIT

 **Akira:** WHAT

 **Akira:** WHAT IS THIS GAME

 **Akira:** WHAT DO THEY MEAN THIS ISN’T THE GAME’S TRUE ENDING?

 **Akira:** AFTER EVERYTHING?

 **Akira:** and it’s JUST THE GOOD ENDING?

 **Akira:** FUTABA

 **Akira:** I DON’T CARE ABOUT SPOILERS ANYMORE

 **Akira:** HOW DO I GET THE TRUE ENDING FUTABA

 **Futaba:** well then

 **Futaba:** it’s time for you to start another playthrough

 **Futaba:** and utilize all your skills to go through every single romance route until you get the true ending for each one

 **Akira:** and then?

 **Futaba:** and then your time management skills better be Legendary because you’ll have to start a new playthrough and go for the poly route

 **Akira:** POLY

 **Akira:** DID YOU JUST SAY POLY

 **Futaba:** yes

 **Futaba:** now get off your ass

 **Futaba:** getting Ann’s true ending is a journey

 **Futaba:** and you have to be careful not to fall into the bad ending of the poly route, the harem ending

 **Futaba:** get ready, kiddo, because god is going to achieve perfection through you

 **Akira:** I AM READY

.

_Extra:_

_Futaba: Thank you for using the services of the talking playthrough guide_

_Futaba: your total reaches 666 curry meals_

.

End


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